Deacon Wonders if Outreach Event Worth it When Just One Soul Saved
JOHNSON CITY, TN- Tensions ran high in Valley Ridge Community Church when the deacon in charge of the hot dog station questioned the results of their annual Block Party.
Herb Byers, no longer driving the tractor for the retired hayrides, said the new view from behind the weinie roaster gave him a fresh perspective on the evangelistic cornerstone of the church calendar.
“One salvation. That’s it this year. It seems to me if we spend all this money on clowns, pony rides, and what-not, there should be more than one kid raising his hand during the altar call,” he said.
The Block Party Planning Chairperson, Debbie Bolling, admitted salvation numbers were a bit low but it’s not really about the numbers. “We praise God for this one precious soul. And I’m praying he’s the next Billy Graham or Jim Elliot.”
Byers, however, wonders whether the allegedly saved child might actually still be lost. “During the altar call, I overheard a mom at the bouncy castle asking her children ‘who wants some cotton candy?’ For all we know, this kid was raising his hand for that question.”
Head Pastor Steve Givens wasn’t even dried off from his shift in the dunking booth before he declared the event the best ever, even with the lack of statistical repentance. “I don’t know why Herb is so fired up. The turnout was fantastic. Not one person went home without a door prize and we gathered a slew of new email addresses from the lawnmower raffle.”
Herb Byers eventually left the party early and missed the mad scramble when the Spongebob piñata burst open.
“I feel bad for Herb,” said Larry Campbell, the elder in charge of the Block Party Petting Zoo. “He’s a good guy, but I don’t think he’s considered the cost of saving souls. These days, it’s gonna take more than a cake walk on the Romans Road."